Wednesday's house church was discussion based around the idea of asking from the Lord and receiving. Biblically we should be seeing results that in reality, often we are not. I find myself dwelling a lot on this thought especially in light of what went on in India while I was there. We walked those streets the same way Jesus would have, He was our group as we were Him. The result was miracles that rival anything found in the book of Acts (I'm convinced the only reason we didn't see the dead raised is because we didn't run into any dead people). I feel like I am not presenting this clearly... let me find the things the Lord had me write down that night.
James 1:6 - But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
Displacement Theory Revised:
While in a foreign land, feelings of insecurity, unknown, discomfort and such are common and commonly expected to be so. You are in a strange land, often without even a common tongue to tie you to those around you. This makes for an environment conducive to some heavy co-dependences. Clearly the only healthy form of such would be a full dependence on the Lord. This was the situation I find myself in often, my time in India was such. For instance, when I prayed for a woman and she began to slither on the ground in a manner defiantly not of human origin. I was up against a strong spirit of suicide that had gripped her for years and I had nothing to fight with but the few hints of direction I was getting from the Lord. Due to my complete lack of the slightest idea of what to do, I just took what little I was getting from God and clung to it then ran with it. God directed my prayers... now she is free and full of life. I could tell stories and give examples of being completely clueless and finding God in it... well, finding God as the only way out of it as well!
1 Corinthians 2:2 - For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.
So, while the team and I were ministering in India last year, we were pretty much clueless save for the fact that God speaks and what He speaks is truth and light that breaks into whatever battle is at hand. We spent everyday conscious of our direct dealings with the spiritual realm as much as we did the physical and there were points where the two were hardly distinguishable.
Ephesians 6:12 - For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
In a sense we were displaced from our everyday lives, strangers in a strange land, completely dependant on God. So, what I am wondering is why I should not feel like that here, as I finish putting these thoughts together (over a month since I began them) sitting in an over-air-conditioned Starbucks with Trav writing on Luke at the table next to me. Am I not just as much a stranger in this land? I feel it here more and more. The deeper understanding I have of how God sees me, who He has made me and what He has made me for, the deeper parts of me understand that I am just passing through.
Psalm 84:5,7 - Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.
There are no borders from God's perspective and regardless of my physical location, I am just as much a stranger whilst just as much at home in Christ. This is where my solace lies, if Christ has made His home within me, then I am at home where ever my feet may roam. It is in this promise that I find peace in the direction that God has given me for the next season of my life. I am staying in San Diego. Each fleece I laid out and each variable at hand has shifted away from Hong Kong and though this makes my heart sad, it is a peaceful sorrow that simply longs to labor alongside the people in Hong Kong that helped shape my life and drew me closer into God's will for me. The peace that I have about staying on here in San Diego does surpass my understanding of what my plans were and the vision I had for the next few years of my life.
Proverbs 20:24,25 - A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows.
It can be such a Christianese cop out to claim peace or not peace in a situation, and I understand the ease of which my decision can be written off as something that it is not. However, I have spent months laboring over this decision, and the past few weeks intently seeking God's nod of approval to send the email confirming my desire to go back to Hong Kong (the email that has been sitting in my drafts folder for over three months now). That nod did not come, and that is just fine.
Jeremiah 10:23 - I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.
I don't know what will replace these plans I have made, but I gave the Lord permission to direct my steps and that is what He has done. I see no open or closed doors, just a free horizon as far as the eye can see, reminding me how small I am and what an amazing God I have the opportunity to serve. I just pray I can walk it out worthy to what I am called to.
1Peter 2:11,12 - Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.
To bring it back around; Lord, I believe... but help my unbelief.
1 comment:
Good words.
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