Repetitious Revelation

I was experiencing M.I.A. blow my mind in a recent concert in at 4th&B in San Diego when it hit me; she can get her message out just as passionately night after night. The same message, the same songs, the same lyrics and the only difference is the audience. This is an audience who really could care less that she has done the same thing over and over in hundreds of cities, if she appears apathetic, inconsistent, irritated, tired, or shows a fickle face towards the message she wants out, she looses her audience in search of something they too can be passionate about.

Then at UCLA I watched Steve Haas, the VP of the organization I work for, talk on HIV/AIDS for the third and fourth time. Same talk, two even back to back. I knew what was coming, I too even know the statistics by heart. By my breaking heart as I try not to cry for the second time as he talks about experiences with dying AIDS victims in Africa. The same message, the same words, different audiences. Each audience looking for something that is real, something to fight for, to fight against.

I got to wondering at my own role in this repetitious rut I have found myself in over the past month. Landing the WV AIDS Tent National Tour in four states, watching thousands of people go through the exhibit and training hundreds of volunteers to catch the vision was amazing. But I found that by the end of a long tour stop (of 4-5 hour long trainings per 10-15 hour day) I was beginning to stumble over my words as though they were some inanimate object beneath my feet and not the powerful truth that this platform I have been allotted compels me to speak.

It is not that I need to be reminded why I do this, I still cry at the drop of a hat at photos and videos I have seen dozens of times over... its more that I sometimes loose sight of the moment. What is it to this new crew of volunteers that I have done this scores of times and their faces tend to blend into one? For each of them this is the first time hearing this information, it is the first time they have stepped out of their comfort zone to begin to fight this global pandemic, it is all they can do with their time since loosing their job, it is extra credit in school, it is an eye opener, it is a challenge, it is a life changing moment. Who am I to taint what the Lord is doing in their lives because I am not feeling up to par? I am no one.

I remember hearing a talk given by Christian worship leader Jason Upton. It was on the joy in finding what you are called to say, and even if it is the same message over and over and over... it is alway just as glorious as the first time, refreshing as the moment the Lord whispered those words directly into your ear. For him it was "God is love. God is love."

Perhaps for me it is "Dance upon injustice. Dance upon injustice."