A Mountainous Soul

This weekend, Catherine and Tyler and I popped up to Cuyamaca for a quickie of a backpacking trip. We didn't even cover 10 miles. However, at every turn, hill, manzanita, falling star, small herd of deer and branch in the face, I was reminded of my childhood in Julian.

First light Saturday morning, the particular chorus of birds hopping back and forth between oaks, pines, cedars and charcoaled trees suddenly flung me back 20 years to open windows and Vulcan Mountain standing between my bedroom and the desert below...

Playing in any of the four makeshift tree forts in my yard
Running in a field with my dog, Gunner
Training Gunner to fetch wood from the pile in the winter
Squealing as he returned, one day, with a squirrel instead
Laying in the sun on the roof with my cat, Jenny
Growing a garden on my roof beside my open skylights
I always yearned for the urban life of Sesame Street
Swinging on tire swings, hammock, rope swings, zip line
Mary Brown fell nearly 20 feet when the zip line snapped
'Hunting for deer', driving around to find them at dusk
Fearing 'druggies' and mountain lions
Finding shelter in trees and freedom in open fields
Going on field trips to gold mines and grave yards
Knowing the difference between stellar and scrub jays
Feeding the pigeon population my dad introduced to Julian
Jumping on the neighbors' trampoline until mom called us in
Going to sleep at 7 to the sound of the neighbors jumping
Buying eggs at a roadside stall instead of a normal store
Regularly driving 30 minutes or an hour for groceries
Regularly getting carsick every time we drove down the hill
Loving staring at clouds, stars, bugs, birds, fire, wind
Feeding raccoons through a hole in our kitchen floor
Growing up with the same 60 kids all through grade school
Getting the local discount and jump in line at Mom's Pies
Playing with the other teachers' kids on empty playgrounds
My dog regularly escaping the yard to come find me at school
Casually and constantly referring to Autumn crowds as 'tourons'
Knowing what to do when you see a rattle snake
Water-slide parties on the Fourth of July and in the snow
Running outside barefoot in PJs to thank the snow for a snow day 
Happily dirty and disheveled by the end every day


I cried the first time I drove through my beloved mountains after the wildfires stole my forests. The idea that my children won't know them like I did is disheartening. However, there are many things that my children will not know the way I do. That is true for each generation throughout history.
I am at peace with that.

So incredible to look back and see how growing up with a love for the outdoors has prepared me for the work I am in now. Learning yesterday that I have been assigned to a location with no internet or running water didn't phase my decision to go for a moment. There are many things we have and do not need. I am interested to see just how far I can take that philosophy and live it out.

My stroll on memory mountain was exactly what my soul needed. How lucky to know what feeds your soul.