Be Anxious for Nothing – except when on Larium

Hello blogosphere, I write to you from an empty dining room in an Entebbe guesthouse.

I would like to say, that I am no longer taking Larium. 

At first, it seemed that the side effects were not, in fact, affecting me. I have always had nutty dreams, most notably, my dreams have a bad habit of picking up where my day left me off. This is cause for some genuine confusion come morning time. Some of my coworkers who are prone to depression stay away from it, as it can make you more depressed. However, I have not felt more depressed than the expected dose of depression when living in an isolated, impoverished, conflict-ridden village in the dead center of Africa. 

I did notice, however, on my last R&R, there was little of both. I could not fall asleep without my passport, money, Swiss Army Knife and headlamp on the pillow beside me. That way, if anything happened, I would know where the important things were and I could run quickly. 

Now, before you think I sound out of my mind, please, bear in mind my daily life style and the places I have been for recent R&Rs… are they in your mind? Alright then. 

  

So, with that in mind, you may understand that my heightened sense of paranoia is not necessarily unhealthy, but a mere necessity of environmental adaptation. I have assumed thus,blaming all my anxiety on Ango. The thing is, this enlightened level of anxiety 

has been instrumental in getting me through
my day to days at the Ango base. 

Yes, I love my job… but it might be out to kill me. And if not my job, then Ango in and of itself. 

Take last week alone: 6 foot viper in my generator, giant spider watching a movie with me by my head on the wall, giant spider bites all over my legs that are still bleeding 6 days later, 5 days in a row of 14 hour work days, mosquito and fly bites that make me wonder if I have leprosy, lightning strikes, bumpy airplanes, dodgy roads, over exuberant military… I could go on, but I am getting more stressed out just typing this. 

Either way, you get the point. 

So, needless to say, my daily needs of adrenaline, anxiety and paranoia have been perfectly on par with my level of activity. However, like I said, my last R&R I was really struggling with feeling very unbalanced and uneasy. My levels of these usually much required pheromones (Are those pheromones? I don’t think so, but it sounded good.) did not drop as my level of activity and responsibility did. So, I had made it up in my mind that if I could not calm down in Europe this September, it was time for a change in my malaria prophylaxis. 

The other day, though, when I got to Bunia, one of my coworkers was talking about how calm she was after going off of Larium, then another chimed in on how it was making her crazy and another how she was still paranoid even as she was staying at her cousin’s house (an ambassador, who lives in one of the most fortified places you can find in these parts)… So, yeah, that to say, I have quit cold turkey. Now, fellow hostel stayers do not have to endure my talking in my sleep and I do not have to endure waking up to hitting walls with my fist thinking I am defending myself from a carjacker in Nairobi. I guess it is a win-win situation. 

However, with the switch always comes a bit of exposure risk. In my cosmetic bag for my Europe R&R (where I hope to soak in as many Rs as possible), I have a thermometer, two rapid result malaria tests and malaria treatment, just in case. So, yeah, if needed, I will be giving myself a blood test… because I don’t already do enough ridiculous things in my life. 

I am not a Guava

Colby the Colobus - Part Two

That night Colby cuddled in my arms and fell asleep. I gave him tree climbing lessons, walked him around, fed him various fruits and generally spent too much time thinking about how awesome this was.

He would turn when I called his name, run to me when I knelt down and climb on me when I held out my hands.

I loved him.

So, Monday we met and Tuesday I was feeding Colby a guava when it fell out of my hand and he bit the next available thing... me. I immediately put him on his tree stump and started squeezing the space between my thumb and pointer finger. At first, it did not seem he had broken the skin. I had this perfect little arch of purple pressure marks and as I washed with soap and water, two of the little marks began to bleed.

Dang it.

I kept squeezing it, hoping to purge anything that might be trying to invade my blood stream. I went to our medical office, which was sparsely populated with medical staff, but one of our supervisors was there to administer iodine. I had already raided one of my co-worker's rooms for an alcohol wipe from her first aid kit, but I was feeling ultra paranoid. Monkey bites are nothing to mess with.

As iodine was administered to my now barely bleeding hand, I was told not to worry, that anything that could be carried by the monkey could not be helped with any medication. AIDS, Ebola, etc.

Clearly, I needed a second opinion.

So, I emailed our 24/7 on call doctors at InterHealth. Dr. Claire got back to me so quickly and with fantastic advice. All of the first aid intuition I had administered was right on, including squeezing the bajeepers out of my hand. So, yay me. I also needed strong antibiotics and antivirals and post exposure rabies vaccinations... all as soon as possible. Antibiotics we had, but the rest would require a logistical miracle. So, I started making some radio calls, and when they did not work, it was time to bust out the SATphone.

The earliest I could get the vaccinations and myself in the same place was Friday.
That was later than the 48 hours recommended, but that's what I get for living in Ango.

I could wait.

Wednesday morning I woke up to a dying Colby. 

                                By 11:30am he was dead.

I could not wait.

By 2:20pm I was on a MAF plane that was chartered just for me, on my way to Bunia. By Thursday afternoon I was in Kampala at The Surgery getting my post exposure vaccs and various other preventative tablets.

Hour 47 of the 48 hour window. Thank God for an amazing team and good health insurance.

The doctor requested I stay in Kampala for at least a week, to be sure I do not come down with a fever or any other worrying symptoms. So, here I have remained. Pretty bored, missing Ango and really feeling like I have not worked much in the last month.

Though I have had no fever, I have felt sick all week and so lethargic. I am told by wikipedia that this is rather common when taking 34 pills a day of heavy-wide-spectrum antibiotics and antivirals. It has been hard to focus on working from here, even though I had high hopes. I just feel like vomiting and laying down all the time.

Hopefully these side effects will subside now that I am only on one of them. I want to go back to work, I want to fix some recent mistakes I have made there. I want to never have a pet monkey without a local vet.

It was fun while it lasted. It makes for a very dramatic story, though at no time did it actually feel dramatic.

In the end, I made it into our country program's monthly Situation Report that gets sent to HQ:

"Courtney Brandt was bitten by a monkey on 19^th July and medivaced to Kampala for preventative treatment. She arrived at the Surgery in Kampala 47 hours after the accident."


And onto InterHealth's website for World Rabies Day:

"At InterHealth we often come across weird and wonderful cases of infections, and rabies is no different... An aid worker in rural Democratic Republic of Congo had been vaccinated against rabies. She encountered a cute baby colobus monkey half way through her project. Unfortunately, the baby monkey playfully nipped her. She wasn't close to medical facilities and required a semi-urgent medevac to complete the post-exposure treatment."

                                                                                                                      So, that's something.

Ango Awesome

And Now... Now

Whew, officially consolidated!

From here on out I'm over sending mass emailed newsletters. I'll blog like the rest of the sane world. Readers, read at your leisure. 5 years of letter archives have now been transfered into a confusing mess that gives the appearance of a manic world trip taken in record time while maintaining all the deep life lessons learned along the way.

Currently, I am dog-sitting in San Diego, listening to the wind whip through the palm trees, in a state of limbo and should have been in bed hours ago.


I will be working with Medair at their DR Congo field office sometime in the near future.
Facts will follow when I have them.

Good night.

14 September 2010

Three Projects and an Announcement: A Hong Kong September

Lei Ho from Hong Kong! For this installment of an update, I was going for
the Wikipedia effect. There are lots of clickable goodies to be found below,
just don’t let them distract you from my big announcement at the end!

Note: I LOVE hearing back from you in response to updates and in updates on
your life!


*Time pies when you’re having fun*
Accountability is vital in the world of humanitarian aid, without it, things
can get ugly fast. This is one of the motivating factors for the following
report! We keep timesheets with fervor around these parts and every two
weeks it produces a very gratifying pie chart. As my supporters in thoughts,
emails, encouragement and funds… you basically pay my salary. Therefore, I
feel compelled to let you see what you’re getting for your money in the work
that I do every day!
I would LOVE it if you sent me questions about any part of this… I guarantee
you will have some after reading the standardized categories.


*Heart Haiti*
I stumbled into the roll of Disaster Response Coordinator as my first week
at Crossroads coincided with 5 consecutive typhoons flooding Manila. This
past year my days have become that much longer and more full as Indonesia,
China, Haiti, Qinghai and now Pakistan have been struck by natural
disasters. I’ll be real honest with you, these times get me down. On a daily
basis I am neck deep in humanitarian plight and when an already vulnerable
population gets nailed by one of these, I have a hard time finding the
silver lining.

Then, just when I think I can’t bear another day, I get news that one of our
shipments has cleared customs and much needed goods are immediately put to
use saving lives! Read a firsthand account from one of our beneficiaries in
Cap Haitian.
As they watched medical equipment emerge from the container: “IV poles,
neonatal resuscitation units, hospital beds and trolleys, opthamology
equipment and masses of hygiene kits. As incubators followed, one of the aid
workers cried out, ‘We can start our neo-natal unit!’” The doctor dashed off
to tell his colleagues.

*Pakistan receives some love*
They say there is no rest for the weary. I think they are right. The people
of Pakistan- the mothers, children, fathers, sons, sisters and brothers of
Pakistan- daily, battle for their lives against hunger, poverty,
corruptions, terrorism, war and then came the floods.
I have been on the phone with several partner organizations providing aid to
thousands of affected families and the situation gets worse with every call.

We have loaded a container of aid that
is due on the banks of the now 18 mile wide Indus river in late
September. For so many, it won’t be soon enough, but for others it will be
just in time. Although I read the reports, watch the videos, sit in on the
interviews and brief our team on the situation, my mind has not been able to
comprehend the impact of 20 million people losing everything. I hold on to
stories like those from Haiti, holding on to the fact that I am on the
hopeful side of near hopeless situations.


*The importance of giving feedback*
We require feedback from each of our consignees after they have received an
aid shipment. This is not only for accountability, but for our donors’
encouragement and our own accountability as a non-profit organization. As a
volunteer, I am dependent on my supporters and sponsors, so I want to share
with you. In this spirit, I present you, my supporter, with feedback from my
last appeal!

Thank you for donating towards these specific needs I was facing:
Chiropractor: I now have enough funds to cover my appointments through
October! I even had some left-over to buy a much needed back support for
chair at work. It has been one full year of no chronic pain!
Public Transport: I am now free to move about the city.
Sanity: I have indulged in fair-trade chocolate, loved the results from my
vintage medium format camera and even saw 'Inception'! My sanity has
remained balanced. Thank you (those around me also thank you).


*Current needs: *
Tickets: As my commitment here draws to a close, I am beginning to wonder
how I am getting home. Really. If you have frequent flier miles you would
like to pass on, or funds to contribute to an airline ticket… Mom would be
grateful to have me home by Thanksgiving!
Living: If you’d like to join the motley crew of supporters, I’d be more
than grateful! They give towards my rent, food and electricity bill in
amounts that vary from $10-$250/month and trust me, every penny counts! I am
a bit behind on my support raising, so if you’d like to contribute, details
are below.


*Big announcement!!!*
Ok, this is what we have all been waiting for (even if you didn’t know you
were waiting for it)… drumrollllllll… I have been accepted into
Medair’s ROC Training course as an experienced relief worker!
Though this does not mean an automatic job placement, it does mean I have
managed to get through a pretty thick vetting process and if I survive the
week-long simulations, trainings, interviews and evaluations (
I am required to bring a Swiss Army Knife?) and
am deemed worthy, I will be placed in one of their field offices!

This is very very exciting (even though not everyone who completes the
course gets a job). They are one of the few organizations which will train
you in disaster management and rehabilitation, are well respected in the
international development field and even provide a modest salary!

So, at the end of October, I will be flying from Hong Kong to Geneva for a
“week [which] will be very intense… with the purpose of exposing you to the
reality of the field”. I have requested not to be placed in a field office
until after December, if I am offered a position. This way I will be able to
see all of your beautiful faces!


*In conclusion...*
Things are wrapping up fast here in Hong Kong and I have been very grateful
for all of your love that has kept me going through the work I am doing
here. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here coordinating the above
projects... you are reaching thousands of people through your support!

Amazing how it all works out.

Much love,
courtney anne