Working Public Weirdness

Sometimes I find myself staring at people till they get so uncomfortable they stare back then eventually shift their gaze to something different and less intrusive to their personal space. Take this middle aged guy sitting next to me right now at San Diego Coffee, Tea and Spice on Cass St. The minute he walked in I got a weird feeling and couldn't place for the life of me where I had seen him before. A half dozen coffee shops, restaurants, professors, volunteers and boardwalk regulars went through my head... no, no, no, no, no, yes!

This guy was one of the feared regulars when I worked at the coffee cart at Horton Plaza (maybe 3 years ago). He would always ask for me, always bring up neo-ultra-conservative-psycho views of what he thought would be done in the world (like nuke the Middle East or let Africa die)... somehow he always wanted to talk to me, would come around the counter and put his arm on me and tell me it was nice what I wanted to do but America needed me... he needed me to serve him coffee. I became quite good at ducking into the pantry to rearrange the coffee beans whenever I would see him coming. I now understand the click of survival instinct to hide under my table or behind my laptop when he walked in the door. No recognition, I'm safe.

Working in places where I regularly see hundreds of people in just one setting is strange. I see them surfing, at the grocery store, on the boardwalk and in pubs... always there is the awkward smile exchanged then I rack my brain for hours trying to place them sitting at a table telling me what they want to eat, on the opposite side of the counter reminding me to give them non-fat milk, asking me about Area Development Projects in Zambia, or explaining free-market economy schemes in developing nations from a podium.

Sometimes I wonder if my life is much stranger than the people around me or if we all think that about ourselves.

Confidence

It’s not really that God has confidence in me, but that He has confidence in Him in me. I have spent restless night fearing this week when my training for my new job is over and I am on my own with a huge tent exhibit filled with all sorts of tricks and quirks and details and dozens of volunteers looking to me for instruction filling up 12-hour days on my feet. But you know what? God is rad. As the days here at Cal Poly SLO have progressed, I occasionally find myself realizing that I am doing this, and things are running more smoothly than I could have even hoped for. God is faithful and knew that even if I couldn’t do it, He could hook me up with the strength and knowledge to do it.

What a blessing it has been to watch people’s lives changed through this work, both here and abroad. I realized the other day that if I were in Africa helping these kids in a hands on fashion I would not have the opportunity to change the world views of the people here in the states. Moreover, I am enabling grassroots development instead of possibly inhibiting it by being in the way of community development projects and the locals implementing their own solutions to issues that they know better than I.

I have sat with college students and talked about the importance of grassroots development if it is to be sustainable, I have talked with them about how they can use their gifts and degrees to change the world and gotten into deep conversations about hearing the voice of God and moving in the prophetic both here and abroad. How humbling is it that God has given me this venue to share my heart and His heart for His children? I am very aware of the enormous blessing this is, and those who have been given much have been given much responsibility.